i was just kind of sitting outside today
(you know, like people used to do
before the invention of television and video games)
and i was reading a book and really into it
so into it that i forgot that i was outside, even
so that i was really startled when a man walking on my street
yelled at me from the sidewalk.

"hey" he said, "d'ya think its going to rain today?"

i just looked at him
"what." i thought

i was underneath my porch
so i could hardly see the sky
and didn't really care if it rained or not anyway.

besides from what i could see it was pretty cloudless
nothing ominous
and it was kind of hot. (it's always windy
right before a storm, right before
real rain.)

i didn't even know what to do,
i just kind of stared at him for a while
while he smiled back at me from the pavement

"no" i finally said
"no i don't think it is going to rain at all"

"and i don't see why you should be even worried
its a nice day and unless you are made of tissue
there's no reason to be so afraid."

"are you made of tissue?"

i wanted to know

"are you because that would explain a lot
namely the reason your brain is not capable
of making that sort of deduction on its own"

he just looked at me for a while
letting what i said sink in
his smile slowly turning into a frown

"i was just trying to be friendly" he finally said

"and i was just trying to read my book.
being friendly would be letting me do that."

he walked away then, slowly, with a half wave
and a little confused.

i didn't feel bad: i hate it when people bug me for stupid reasons.

and i got to read my book.

i got a strange phone call today
it was from this person that i know from school
although 'know' isn't really a very good word.

you know those people who you see
all the time but never speak to?
for me this was 89% of the school's population
and so of course this person was one of them

"what are you doing today jeffrey" he asked
i said "huh --- what" and
"how did you get this number"

"that's not important" he said
"what are you doing today"
and i said what i always say to that question
which is "nothing".

"well" and this was a long well
like he was building up courage
which he probably was
"if you want to do something
a bunch of us are going to see a movie and
we were wondering if you wanted to come."

i laughed
i honestly laughed
"me? you're kidding"
"no" he said "i'm not"
"we want you to come"

i thought it over
wondering whether it was friendly
"what movie"
"the island"
"i've already seen the island"
"ok how about wedding crashers
we were thinking of seeing that one too"

i said yes, but
this is where i should have realised that it was a trap
when they changed the movie for me.
not later, not hours afterward
not when i had waited past one and a half showings of wedding crashers


--- yeah; i know. i hate people too.
(and they hate me)